Goodbye, Classic Hollywood

Grace Kelly. The Duke. Audrey Hepburn. Jimmy Stewart. Doris Day. Tara Reid.

Wait a minute...what? Tara Reid?!

Elegance in Tinseltown is a thing of the past -- where the men were gentlemen, and the ladies conducted themselves with class and sophistication, even outside of their respective studios.

I'm not against having a good time, but whatever happened to conducting yourself with class in public? Granted, I myself have had a few nights out where my husband needed to literally drag me away from the bar. And of course, I'd look and act like a complete jackass. I used to think the world revolved around me, and the world was just one big party. But that was when I was in my early 20s. Time changes everything...or does it?

A few examples of stars behaving badly:

Tara Reid, the American Pie cutie, is now 30ish...and she still parties like it's 1999. I have nothing personal against the actress, but does she even realize what she's doing to herself? She lost her travel-themed show on E!, called Taradise. I wonder why. If you were one of the few who saw the show, she was hopelessly drunk 99.9% of the time. I get a hangover just looking at her.

I consider Tom Cruise to be a mediocre actor -- not bad, but not great -- but in public, I can't stand him. Who does he think he is, anyway? L. Ron Hubbard's incarnate? Tom makes out with Katie Holmes in public just about every chance he gets, rips into Matt Laurer on the Today show, criticizes Brooke Shields for her post-partum depression treatment, dumped Nicole Kidman, the mother of his two adopted children, just shy of their 10th wedding anniversary (so he could escape paying alimony -- under California law, I've heard you have to pay alimony if you've been married 10+ years)...and the list goes on and on. He might as well hump Katie's leg at the next red carpet event they attend -- PDA overkill!!

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline had their own reality show on UPN, called Chaotic. All Britney talked about was sex, sex, sex. Oh, and more sex. I'm not surprised this show lasted only one season. Besides, all their shaky homemade footage caused me a great deal of motion sickness. So much for self-promotion.

Don't ever p*** off actor Russell Crowe, or he'll beat you up with a telephone or something. He's like a male version of catty supermodel Naomi Campbell. Imagine Mickey Rooney doing something like that.

Now, Tara looks cute when she's not hammered. Tom and Katie are about to become parents, so congrats to them (even though he's a couch-jumping control freak). Britney seems like an otherwise normal redneck person. Russell Crowe just needs anger management classes. Everyone has their good points (well, except for Kevin Federline). Problem is, is that they desperately need to practice their good points in public.

Today's Hollywood has a few classy ones left. Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow, George Clooney, and Hillary Swank.

But classic (and classy) Hollywood is no more. When did this happen?

Sad.

Which Blonde Has More Fun Now?

It seems that a whole lot of pop stars, actors and actresses have their public feuds.

Joan Crawford versus Bette Davis. The Beatles versus The Rolling Stones (supposedly). And after the Beatles, it was Lennon pitted against McCartney.

Nowadays, the tabloids report squabbles between Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields, Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton versus Nicole Ritchie (or [insert name here]), and probably the most publicized of all fights in recent years -- Britney Spears versus Christina Aguilera.

I was checking out an article yesterday at AOL.com about the ongoing spat between the two pop tarts and ex-Mousketeers. There's nothing like a good (famous) girl fight!!

So who wins?

AOL reports that Britney's downward spiral happened right after Madonna's public kiss at the opening act of the 2003 MTV Music Awards.

Recently, Madonna's 9-year-old daughter Lourdes even asked her mom if was gay "because you kissed Britney Spears". Madge's reply? She said she was the "mommy pop star" and Britney was the "baby pop star", and that the kiss was like passing on some sort of magic or some crap. Madonna may be the Queen of the Pop Music World, but in no way does she possess special powers. Gee, did everyone forget that Madonna also kissed Christina that night? Even the cameras barely caught the exchange between Madge and Christina, because everyone was still shocked from the Britney/Madonna make-out. If they were all going for shock value that night, Christina got screwed.

Meanwhile...

Christina - has 3 Grammys, obviously a happy newlywed, and a lot of #1 singles. Wears more clothes these days (excellent job ditching the Dirrty look, which made her look quite a bit skanky). Lately has been channeling Marilyn Monroe with her new, glammed-up style. The verdict? Classy.

Britney - has 1 Grammy (well it is better than nothing), has a lazy, do-nothing "second" husband who consders her a "trophy wife" (yet he calls her "fat"), and has maybe a handful of #1s. Looking very disheveled lately, including barefoot "gas station bathroom hopping". (I understand Brit's a new mom, but even new moms deserve to be sanitary!!) She's a real-life Bratz doll. The verdict here: trashy and fading fast.

Britney Spears might have sold a helluva lot more records, but Christina Aguilera has staying power. Xtina has an amazing voice, and she sings her heart out...while Brit, though her songs are catchy, sounds like an Alvin and the Chipmunks reject.

I still do respect each woman in her own way (Madonna is still on top after 20+ years, Britney practically took over the world in her prime, and Christina is just an overall talented singer who used to get overshadowed by Britney...now it's Christina's turn). Britney Spears could possibly make a comeback, and maybe then I'll eat my words. But in the long run, Christina Aguilera wins hands down.

The best things come to those who wait.

The Jennifer Aniston/"Brangelina" Saga Drags On...

This is just so ongoing and frustrating!! All right, we get it, Jen, you and Brad are not on good terms. But I am also getting sick of the media publicity surrounding Brad Pitt and that rivals "TomKat" (that's Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes...And what's with the merging of every celebrity couple's name these days? It started with "Bennifer" [J. Lo/Ben Affleck] and it got out of control from there).

Whose team am I on: Team Aniston or Team Pitt-Jolie? Here poses a question that has divided our nation.

Jen, quityerbitchin' and move on!! So Ange followed her heart (and the voices in her head) and into Brad's arms. This all happened after Jen and Brad's marriage was on the rocks. Angelina might have had a crazy, whacked-out past, but she is not at all a "homewrecker" -- at least not this time. Angie is a humanitarian with 2 beautiful children +1 on the way with a modern-day Robert Redford. Oh yeah, and she has an Oscar. And she's gorgeous. But I am getting sick of seeing the both of them plastered all over magazines and the media. I was a fan, and I still am...but not to the extent as I once was. I'm beginning to wonder if she parades her kids around in front of the cameras just to make herself look wholesome, an image she had to work with in her personal life. As far as Brad Pitt? Overrated -- and always has been overrated. I'm not saying he's a bad actor because he's actually quite good. I just don't see his "hotness". Cute, yeah. Gorgeous? Nah. Either way, these two are getting to be annoying.

However, I can see Jen's point of view sometimes. I was just as shocked as the most of the rest of the entertainment world when she and Brad split up. I did feel sorry for her when the announcement was made. I have never really had a problem with Jen. Like Angelina, I've even liked a few of Jen's movies. Jennifer, though, is the one that, no matter where she goes, is subjected to countless photos and references of her ex-husband canoodling and cavorting with a rival actress (whose own track record in romance is questionable) -- even before the divorce papers were signed. She has every right to be pissed off. And it's a free country -- if Brad's mom wants to remain friends (no pun) with Jennifer, why not? It won't help Brad and Angelina much, but this is America. Even though at this point, however, I do wish Jen would shut up about all this Brad stuff and move on with her life...yesterday. I once thought Jennifer Aniston was a strong (and strong-willed) woman who'd overcome this with her own personal victory, but I'm beginning to change my mind.

Back to my original question: So whose team am I on, anyway?

Team Me and My Husband, that's whose team I'm on.

Remakes...Sequels...and Bad Acting, Oh My...Part II

So they remade the Pink Panther, with Steve Martin as the bumbling Inspector Clouseau. Uh...why? No offense to Steve, since he's a good actor in some movies. But I think this role is wrong for him. I just can't picture him as Inspector Clouseau. And the point of Beyonce' Knowles in this movie is why? All right, we get it. Beyonce' is an extremely attractive woman. But as far as sex appeal and popularity, that's why they cast the double-D breasted, poppy blonde sort-of-diva Jessica Simpson in the role of Daisy Duke. Sex, sex, and some more sex. That's showbiz, I assume.

I thought Hollywood learned its lesson when it recreated the adventures of the Dukes of Hazzard.

With the exception on King Kong (the latest remake), My Fair Lady (the Audrey Heburn adaption) and a thimbleful of others, I just don't understand the point of remakes. The (original) Little Mermaid would probably scare kids these days. I would know because I have seen both versions, and Disney's sugarcoated "Ariel the Mermaid" version doesn't stack up to the original, lacking the drama of the first one. Sure, there were some peppy tunes in the sountrack, but it's whatever makes a ginormous corporation like Disney lots of money, I guess.

You might as well remake Gone With the Wind.

Britney Spears as Scarlett O'Hara. Jennifer Love Hewitt as Melanie Wilkes. Ashley Wilkes could be played be Ashlee Simpson, as she is rather "mannish"...and Martin Lawrence as Mammy, since he likes dressing up like "Big Momma" so much. Whatever is popular these days, I suppose.

Whatever happened to just making a good movie for the sake of making a good movie?! Jeez.

"Britney O'Hara."